CEO Dies after Golden Parachute Fails to Deploy

Scottsdale, Arizona – Tragedy today as Edward Luskin fell to his death after his golden parachute failed to open. Luskin, 64, was CEO of West Bank where he had worked for over 20 years, starting as a lowly son of the former CEO, John Luskin.

Sources close to the deceased remained unclear what had caused the fatal incident. Some allege that the internal auditing committee had reneged on key clauses, though they were unable to substantiate these claims.

Employees at the company reported being stunned, marking it as a great financial loss. "He was the CEO," said Jeb Stuart, a cashier at the bank. "At least I'm pretty sure he was."

Luskin is survived by his wife, dog Phoebe, and tens of millions of dollars.