Trump Orders Pluto Restored as Ninth Planet

Washington – Speaking before press today, President Trump announced that he had signed an executive order restoring Pluto's status as the ninth planet in our solar system.

"Pluto has been wronged, very wronged," he said. "It's a great planet, some might say one of the greatest planets – my friend Elon says it's not as great as Mars, but I said Elon, Elon you've got to admit it would be pretty great also on Pluto, and he agreed – he always agrees because we see alike — and Pluto, a great planet, all the kids are sad that they took away Pluto because of DEI, so sad, but I'm going to fix that."

The announcement appeared to surprise the President's scientific advisors, who scrambled to add their support to the declaration, confirming that Pluto was the victim of "DEI initiatives" within the scientific establishment, and has always merited the title of ninth planet.

The astronomic community was also caught off-guard, with many expressing consternation over the order. "The President does not have the authority to declare celestial bodies planets," said one scientist who declined to be named for fear their funding might be affected.

Elon Musk appeared to support the move, posting a meme showing the Pluto spoking a joint while wearing a Make America Great Again hat.

Pluto itself was not available for comment.