Email Fails to Find Man Well

CHICAGO - Despite its best intentions, a sales email sent to Derek Chen, an assistant manager, failed to find the man well.

The email's author, regional sales manager Janet Walsh, expressed concern. "I explicitly wrote that I hope this email finds you well," she told sources close to the matter. "I don't know where I went wrong."

Chen released a brief statement noting that he had "made a few mistakes" the night before, and "possibly overindulged on margaritas," which led to a persistent headache, fatigue, and other symptoms that indicate a severe hangover. He later acknowledged receiving the email and was sad to disappoint its sender.

Clarity Software, Chen's employer, was not available for comment.