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Union of Concerned Scientists Criticizes EU for Inadequately Addressing Heat Death of the Universe
Bern, Switzerland – the Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS) today released his harshest statement yet on the inaction of the EU central government and its member nations in the face of the heat death of the universe. "We have only 100,000,000,000,000 years before we reach the
AI Researchers Declare that by 2030 They Will Have Achieved Generally Intelligible Model Names
San Francisco – A consortium of leading AI researchers announced today that they believe that generally intelligible names for their models is likely by the year 2030. To date, the field has been marked by confusing naming progressions that defy explanation. OpenAI, the most prominent company in the field, and the
Foodie Prides Herself on Only Eating in Restaurants Recommended by Tire Manufacturer
Squirrel Knows He Left Ten Thousand Acorns around Here Somewhere
Sharpie Announces Impermanent Markers for Those Afraid of Commitment
New Evidence Suggests that Shakespeare’s Plays Were Never Actually Written at All
London – Adding fresh fuel to the long-running argument over the true authorship of the Elizabethan plays attributed to William Shakespeare, a newly published article in the Shakespeare Quarterly argues that the plays were, in fact, never written at all. "New evidence," the report concludes,"forces us
Visine Quietly Drops Sponsorship Deal with Eye of Sauron
Middle Earth – Visine today announced it was severing ties with the Eye of Sauron. "It has been a productive relationship," the company said, "but we cannot continue our sponsorship with this manifestation of evil." Sources at the company speculated that the decision may have been in
Historians Decry Inaccuracies of Historical Drama that Shows Characters with All of Their Teeth
Ford Adds Large Blinking Alert on Dashboard to Remind Drivers Not Get Distracted
Fields Medal in Math Awarded to Guy Who First Discovered How to Spell "Boobless" on Calculator
