Pregnant Woman Announces Plan to Cup Belly, Stare into Distance

Bend, Oregon – Sheila Jones, local mother, announced today her plans to travel into the woods and cup her belly while staring into the distance and marveling at her own godlike ability to create life.

"I think it's important to just stop and embrace the maternal," she said, "preferably while surrounded by Mother Nature herself."

The only difficulty, she noted, was finding a forested location that was not already occupied by other pregnant mothers cupping their bellies and staring into the distance.

Don Jones, the father, declined to comment for the article.