Two Year Committed Relationship No Match for Trip to Ikea

In what is being termed the "Ikea Effect", yet another committed relationship ended after an ill-advised trip to look for accent pillows at the local Ikea. Area residents Sarah McCallister and John Decker ended their two-year relationship over "irreconcilable differences" when selecting a duvet.

According to witnesses, the couple's disagreement began in the store's kitchen section over a spur of the moment decision to look for a new table. The argument escalated as they moved through the showroom, with tensions peaking outside the store's iconic blue building. "It was like watching a drama unfold," said a bystander who witnessed the event. "One moment they were discussing furniture, the next they were shouting about breaking up."

The couple, both in their early 30s, had been dating since 2021 and were thought to be considering marriage.

IKEA issued a statement, emphasizing their commitment to a creating a pleasant shopping experience, while emphasizing that furniture selection is an inherently risky activity. Critics have long criticized the stores' labyrinthine design and omnipresent displays as barbaric and demeaning, with some going so far as to call the stores a violation of the basic dignity of man.

The couple was not available for comment.