Union of Concerned Scientists Criticizes EU for Inadequately Addressing Heat Death of the Universe

Bern, Switzerland – the Union of Concerned Scientists (UCS) today released his harshest statement yet on the inaction of the EU central government and its member nations in the face of the heat death of the universe.

"We have only 100,000,000,000,000 years before we reach the point where stars are incapable of forming new materials," warns the report. "At this point, we will have only another 1,000,000,000,000,000 years before stars stop forming altogether, leading to the complete heat death of the universe in the subsequent 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 years."

EU authorities responded that the report raised valid concerns, but noted that the end of the universe as we know it must be balanced against more pressing concerns such as refugee crises, trade wars and the conflict in Ukraine.

Various left-leaning and green parties seized on the report as further evidence that the EU central government was not responding to the needs of younger generations. Meanwhile, more conservative and nationalist parties openly mocked the report as scaremongering and overly "science-y".

The universe could not be reached for comment.