Mark Terrace
Woman Already Has True Crime Podcast Planned Out in Case Any Friends Get Murdered
Scottsdale, AZ – Sarah McHenry announced today that she knows exactly how she would produce a serialized true crime podcast if any of her friends were murdered. "I'd start in the middle of the story to really grab the listener," she said, "Probably beginning with a
Tourists Are Destroying Our City Says Man Who Just Defaced 500 Year Old Church
Odlaw Resents That Everyone Just Assumes He's Evil
Ancient Egypt – Hiding amongst a crowd of Egyptians busily constructing a series of pyramids, Odlaw could not hold back his anger. "Everyone just assumes because I dress like this I'm evil," he said, pointing to his distinctive yellow and black striped outfit. "For the record,
Elon Musk Has Untweeted Thought
Sea Turtle Charged With Abandoning Young
Waze Recommends Saving 3 Minutes by Driving Straight through Mall Like Scene in Blues Brothers (No Tolls)
Siri Gets Little Thrill out of Mangling User’s Simple Command
Library of Congress Thoroughly Regrets Accepting All Tweets into Historical Record
Washington D.C. – The Library of Congress formally announced today that they "regret deeply" accepting all tweets into their formal record. "When we made this decision in 2010, we thought Twitter would prove a valuable resource for historians," said spokeswoman Elena Mand. "We now know
God Updates Terms of Service
Heaven – An email miraculously arriving in all inboxes in the world this morning announced that God was updating His terms of service. The email gets right to the point, "Today I am updating My terms of service. These terms will apply as of today, February 28, 2025. I encourage
Old Naked Guy in Gym Locker Room Really Embracing Body Positivity
"They Killed This Chicken Dead," Announces Toddler to Dinner Guests
Burlington, VT – Noting that the chicken which his family and their friends were about to consume was, in fact, dead, four year old Jeremy Hanson decided to share this important fact with his dinner companions. "They killed this chicken dead," he loudly announced, pointing to remove any doubt