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Scientists Now Believe Rudolph's Red Nose the Product of Severe Alcoholism
Assad Not Sure Why Putin No Longer Answering His Texts
Moscow – A visibly depressed Bashar al-Assad noted the anniversary of his downfall by sitting quietly at his desk. Phone in hand, he noted that Russian president Vladmir Putin had clearly seen his message. Still, no response was forthcoming. Vladmir Putin was not available for comment.
Rare Cannabis Sold to Highest Bidder
Children's Christmas Concert Spreads Holiday Cheer, Flu
Avalanche of Investment in AI Data Centers Threatens Existing Mom & Pop Data Centers
New Parents Still Blissfully Unaware of Blippi
JD Vance Stands Firmly Behind President’s Decision to Denounce JD Vance
Quaker Americans Decry Stereotypical Portrayal as Friendly Oat Farmer
Disney Euthanizes Another Aging Child Star
Area Weirdos Announce Plan to Buy Pet Snake
Santa's Naughty-Nice List Exposed in Latest Data Breach
In one of the largest data breaches on record, over 4 billion names, addresses and naughtiness were exposed in a data breach published to the dark web. St. Nicholas was not available for comment.
Horoscopes Are Stupid, Says Man Who Fervently Believes in Meyers-Briggs Personality Test
EU Finally Takes Advantage of Brexit to Drop Weird British Spellings
Saying that it was a "change whose time had come," a visibly happy President Ursula von der Leyen announced today that the EU would no longer accept those weird British spellings. "No more spelling labor with a 'u' or gray with an 'e'
Opinion: The Dance Dance Revolution Will Not Be Televised
Kix under Fire for Testing on Children
Ken Burns Teases New Seven Part Series on Ranch Dressing
The renowned filmmaker noted his study of Americana would not be complete without fully exploring its greatest culinary creation.
$4,000 Carbon-Fiber Bike only Thing Standing between Middle-Aged Man and Greatness
Neckline Plunges to Death
Post Launches New Seedless Grape-Nuts
Cowboy who Herds Sheep Technically Sheepboy
All 50 Candles Added to Cake out of Spite
Astronomer CMO Politely Asks New CEO if He Wouldn't Mind Also Getting Caught in Embarrassing Viral Video
