Mark Terrace
New Evidence Suggests that Shakespeare’s Plays Were Never Actually Written at All
London – Adding fresh fuel to the long-running argument over the true authorship of the Elizabethan plays attributed to William Shakespeare, a newly published article in the Shakespeare Quarterly argues that the plays were, in fact, never written at all. "New evidence," the report concludes,"forces us to
Visine Quietly Drops Sponsorship Deal with Eye of Sauron
Middle Earth – Visine today announced it was severing ties with the Eye of Sauron. "It has been a productive relationship," the company said, "but we cannot continue our sponsorship with this manifestation of evil." Sources at the company speculated that the decision may have been in
Historians Decry Inaccuracies of Historical Drama that Shows Characters with All of Their Teeth
Ford Adds Large Blinking Alert on Dashboard to Remind Drivers Not Get Distracted
Fields Medal in Math Awarded to Guy Who First Discovered How to Spell "Boobless" on Calculator
JD Vance Reminds Family that They Agreed to No Fact-Checking at Dinner Table
Lot Pretty Sure Wife Wouldn't Want All this Salt to Go To Waste
Wisened Jerry Seinfeld Finally Figures out the Deal with Airline Food
Manhattan – Sources close to the legendary comedian report that Jerry Seinfeld has finally addressed one of the most long-asked questions of our modern era: what's the deal with airline food? "It's definitely something I've seen him wrestle with since at least 1975,"
Man Buys Organic Dog Food for Pet that Literally Eats Poop
Man Succumbs after Brave Battle with Cancer Center
Fargo, ND – Brian Murphy lost his long battle with the Mayo Clinic Comprehensive Cancer Center today. For years, he had fought against the center's collections group over a set of bills from previous treatments. "Brian's always been a fighter," said his wife Debra. "
Supreme Court Upholds TikTok Ban after Choreographed Dance Fails to Go Viral
Washington – The Supreme Court ruled unanimously to allow a law that would force TikTok to sell to an American company or be banned within the US, following the failure of their recent choreographed dance video to gain a significant following. The ruling stated that the government had proven that the