Ancient Egypt – Hiding amongst a crowd of Egyptians busily constructing a series of pyramids, Odlaw could not hold back his anger. "Everyone just assumes because I dress like this I'm evil," he said, pointing to his distinctive yellow and black striped outfit. "For the record,
Washington D.C. – The Library of Congress formally announced today that they "regret deeply" accepting all tweets into their formal record. "When we made this decision in 2010, we thought Twitter would prove a valuable resource for historians," said spokeswoman Elena Mand. "We now know
Heaven – An email miraculously arriving in all inboxes in the world this morning announced that God was updating His terms of service. The email gets right to the point, "Today I am updating My terms of service. These terms will apply as of today, February 28, 2025. I encourage
Burlington, VT – Noting that the chicken which his family and their friends were about to consume was, in fact, dead, four year old Jeremy Hanson decided to share this important fact with his dinner companions. "They killed this chicken dead," he loudly announced, pointing to remove any doubt
Anaheim, CA – Brett Rawls clocked out after another long day at Disneyland where he works as a character performer for Goofy. Slowly removing his sweat-soaked costume, he noted that he made barely more than minimum wage in the role, all while subject to intense heat, angry parents and even the