London – Adding fresh fuel to the long-running argument over the true authorship of the Elizabethan plays attributed to William Shakespeare, a newly published article in the Shakespeare Quarterly argues that the plays were, in fact, never written at all. "New evidence," the report concludes,"forces us to
Middle Earth – Visine today announced it was severing ties with the Eye of Sauron. "It has been a productive relationship," the company said, "but we cannot continue our sponsorship with this manifestation of evil." Sources at the company speculated that the decision may have been in
Manhattan – Sources close to the legendary comedian report that Jerry Seinfeld has finally addressed one of the most long-asked questions of our modern era: what's the deal with airline food? "It's definitely something I've seen him wrestle with since at least 1975,"
Fargo, ND – Brian Murphy lost his long battle with the Mayo Clinic Comprehensive Cancer Center today. For years, he had fought against the center's collections group over a set of bills from previous treatments. "Brian's always been a fighter," said his wife Debra. "
Washington – The Supreme Court ruled unanimously to allow a law that would force TikTok to sell to an American company or be banned within the US, following the failure of their recent choreographed dance video to gain a significant following. The ruling stated that the government had proven that the
Washington – The Federal Trade Commission today announced that it was bringing antitrust charges against God, arguing that His commandment to "have no other gods before me," was intended to prevent competition among deities. "We at the FTC felt that it was time to address a clear act