Mark Terrace
Dog Visibly Ashamed by Haircut
Pope Excommunicates Cubs Fans
Saying that the action was "long overdue", Pope Leo II today announced that he was excommunicating all fans of the Chicago Cubs baseball team. The pontiff insisted the action was not at all related to his own allegiance to the Chicago White Sox, and the two teams'
Trump Calls in National Guard as Millions of Masked Looters Spotted across Country
Calling it the work of Venezuelan drug cartels, President Trump today ordered the National Guard to protect American cities from an "invasion of masked looters." "It's absolutely terrible what's going on out there," said the President. "You've got gangs
8 Fun Ways to Monetize Trick-or-Treat Traffic This Halloween
Christian Mobster Doing God's Dirty Work
Rand Paul Rethinks Politics after Ruthless Efficiency of SF Parking Enforcement
Shaking his head in disbelief, Senator Rand Paul grasped the new parking ticket on his rented sedan. "The meter expired a few seconds ago," he muttered to himself. "How is this possible?" The experience has shaken the senator, long known as a stalwart critic of big
Ugly Butterfly Demoted to Moth
Non-Profit Hospital Shockingly Profitable
Dairy Group Wages Campaign to End Lactose Intolerance
"Intolerance has no place in our society," said the group.
Manager Wishes All Employees Worked as Hard as Clandestine North Korean
Arther Daniels, regional manager for the Dyson Software company has a problem, and it's not the secret North Korean man he discovered had been working for him for nearly six months. It's everyone else. "The man works like his life depends on it, which I&
Airport Debuts Faster Security Line for Cash Bribes
Noting that customers demand more options beyond TSA PreCheck and CLEAR to expedite their travel, Orlando International Airport today introduced the "$ Line" for travelers willing to pay a cash bribe. "We also accept jewelry, gold coins and designer watches," added an official, before quickly adding that