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Judge Declares that Simply Being Aware of Facebook Makes You Subject to Their Terms of Service
Washington – Judge Anthony Carbassi today ruled against the plaintiff in McKensey v. Meta, declaring that Ms. McKensey was indeed subject to the Facebook Terms of Service, and therefore could not sue the company in court. McKensey had brought the suit after finding pictures of herself posted to the social network,
Putin Renews Ukraine War for Fourth Season
Moscow – President Vladimir Putin announced today that Russia would be renewing the "Special Operation" in Ukraine for a fourth season. "We have had many fruitful discussions," he said of his recent two hour phone call with the U.S. President Trump, "and decided that the
Pro-Defamation League Warns that Anti-Semitic Tweets Only Doubled in Last Year
Supreme Court Rules Eternity of Having Liver Eaten by Eagle Does Not Violate 8th Amendment
Washington – In a landmark ruling, the Supreme Court today ruled 6-3 against Prometheus in his suit against Zeus. Prometheus had claimed that Zeus violated his 8th amendment protection against "cruel and unusual punishment" by sentencing him to be chained forever to a rock whereupon an eagle would arrive
Jesus Disappointed by Harsh Wine Spectator Review
Galilee – Jesus started the day with high hopes. The latest edition of Wine Spectator had arrived, promising at last a review of his miraculous vintage, created during the wedding feast in Galilee. Those hopes were soon dashed. "Regrettably, the 31 Château Savior Cabernet Sauvignon fails on nearly every level,
Woman Dives into Closing Elevator Like Indiana Jones Escaping Temple of Doom
JD Vance Still Looking for Perfect Emoji to Respond to News of Military Strike
Drug Trafficker Appalled at Government's Operational Security
Juarez, Mexico – Pablo Gutierrez, or "El Cabra" (the goat) as he is known in the drug underworld, could not contain his reaction to news that top U.S. officials, including the Secretary of Defense and Vice President had communicated sensitive war plans to a reporter via Signal, a
Flight Attendant Informs Ryan Air Passengers that Flotation Devices Can Be Purchased in Case of Water Landing
New AI Tech Support Promises to Not Help Customers Faster than Ever
Tired of waiting on endless hold to reach technical support? Frustrated with unhelpful employees who either can't or won't help you solve your problem? Finally there is hope. A raft of new AI-powered tech support tools promise to revolutionize tech support, enabling companies to not help
