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Desperate Trump Tries to Distract from Epstein Scandal by Acting Nice and Reasonable
Prematch Stare-Down Devolves into Erotic Smoldering Gaze
Obstinate Birther Still Demands Proof Obama Was Ever Born
Court Room Artist Enters Blue Period
Ruptured Johnson & Johnson Rig Dumps Millions of Gallons of Baby Oil into Bay
Scientists Still Unclear Why Humans Domesticated Celery
Masochist Blackjack Player Demands to Be Hit Again
Hallmark Adds New Line of Cards to Appeal to Internet Trolls
Civil War Reenactors Unsure What to Do with Asian Guy
Serial Murderer Described by Neighbors as Extremely Suspicious, Rude, Violent
